Live Alone? We Want to Hear From You

MODERN LOVE

Now that millions of people are isolated at home, Modern Love is seeking personal stories of lives transformed by sudden solitude.

By The New York Times

More people live alone today in the United States than at any other time in history — a seismic shift from even a half-century ago, and one that is increasingly common across the world. Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing, of course. And many people who live by themselves may in fact spend little time alone, leading rich social and working lives as they go about their day to day.

Or at least they did.

In the midst of a pandemic, millions of people have suddenly found themselves marooned at home, alone, for weeks or perhaps even months.

Are you someone who lives alone right now? We want to hear from you.

Please tell us, in 500 words or fewer, about this unexpected and probably involuntary period of isolation in your life.

What has surprised you the most, good or bad? What feels intolerable or rewarding? What’s darkly funny? How are you coping — or struggling to cope — in this new reality where your only human interaction is confined to a screen or conducted behind masks at a safe distance? Do you worry about going without human touch, much less sexual intimacy, for too long? Do you find your circumstances horrifying, calming or just plain boring?

Tell us your best and most revealing story of this strange time in your life. We plan to publish the most moving and surprising entries we receive. If we are interested in your story, an editor will contact you.

Deadline for submissions: Sunday, May 3, 2020, by 11:59 p.m. ET

To complement your narrative, please consider submitting one or all of the photos requested below, along with a short description of what’s pictured in each.

Want more? Watch the Modern Love TV series, now on Amazon Prime Video; sign up for Love Letter, our weekly email; read past Modern Love columns and Tiny Love Stories; listen to the Modern Love Podcast on iTunes, Spotify or Google Play Music; peruse our T-shirts, totes, sweatshirts and temporary tattoos on the NYT Store; check out the updated anthology “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption”; and follow Modern Love on Facebook.

Illustrations by Jon Han

Updated April 11, 2020

This is a difficult question, because a lot depends on how well the virus is contained. A better question might be: “How will we know when to reopen the country?” In an American Enterprise Institute report, Scott Gottlieb, Caitlin Rivers, Mark B. McClellan, Lauren Silvis and Crystal Watson staked out four goal posts for recovery: Hospitals in the state must be able to safely treat all patients requiring hospitalization, without resorting to crisis standards of care; the state needs to be able to at least test everyone who has symptoms; the state is able to conduct monitoring of confirmed cases and contacts; and there must be a sustained reduction in cases for at least 14 days.

The Times Neediest Cases Fund has started a special campaign to help those who have been affected, which accepts donations here. Charity Navigator, which evaluates charities using a numbers-based system, has a running list of nonprofits working in communities affected by the outbreak. You can give blood through the American Red Cross, and World Central Kitchen has stepped in to distribute meals in major cities. More than 30,000 coronavirus-related GoFundMe fund-raisers have started in the past few weeks. (The sheer number of fund-raisers means more of them are likely to fail to meet their goal, though.)

If you’ve been exposed to the coronavirus or think you have, and have a fever or symptoms like a cough or difficulty breathing, call a doctor. They should give you advice on whether you should be tested, how to get tested, and how to seek medical treatment without potentially infecting or exposing others.

The C.D.C. has recommended that all Americans wear cloth masks if they go out in public. This is a shift in federal guidance reflecting new concerns that the coronavirus is being spread by infected people who have no symptoms. Until now, the C.D.C., like the W.H.O., has advised that ordinary people don’t need to wear masks unless they are sick and coughing. Part of the reason was to preserve medical-grade masks for health care workers who desperately need them at a time when they are in continuously short supply. Masks don’t replace hand washing and social distancing.

If you’re sick and you think you’ve been exposed to the new coronavirus, the C.D.C. recommends that you call your healthcare provider and explain your symptoms and fears. They will decide if you need to be tested. Keep in mind that there’s a chance — because of a lack of testing kits or because you’re asymptomatic, for instance — you won’t be able to get tested.

It seems to spread very easily from person to person, especially in homes, hospitals and other confined spaces. The pathogen can be carried on tiny respiratory droplets that fall as they are coughed or sneezed out. It may also be transmitted when we touch a contaminated surface and then touch our face.

No. Clinical trials are underway in the United States, China and Europe. But American officials and pharmaceutical executives have said that a vaccine remains at least 12 to 18 months away.

Unlike the flu, there is no known treatment or vaccine, and little is known about this particular virus so far. It seems to be more lethal than the flu, but the numbers are still uncertain. And it hits the elderly and those with underlying conditions — not just those with respiratory diseases — particularly hard.

If the family member doesn’t need hospitalization and can be cared for at home, you should help him or her with basic needs and monitor the symptoms, while also keeping as much distance as possible, according to guidelines issued by the C.D.C. If there’s space, the sick family member should stay in a separate room and use a separate bathroom. If masks are available, both the sick person and the caregiver should wear them when the caregiver enters the room. Make sure not to share any dishes or other household items and to regularly clean surfaces like counters, doorknobs, toilets and tables. Don’t forget to wash your hands frequently.

Plan two weeks of meals if possible. But people should not hoard food or supplies. Despite the empty shelves, the supply chain remains strong. And remember to wipe the handle of the grocery cart with a disinfecting wipe and wash your hands as soon as you get home.

Yes, but make sure you keep six feet of distance between you and people who don’t live in your home. Even if you just hang out in a park, rather than go for a jog or a walk, getting some fresh air, and hopefully sunshine, is a good idea.

That’s not a good idea. Even if you’re retired, having a balanced portfolio of stocks and bonds so that your money keeps up with inflation, or even grows, makes sense. But retirees may want to think about having enough cash set aside for a year’s worth of living expenses and big payments needed over the next five years.

Watching your balance go up and down can be scary. You may be wondering if you should decrease your contributions — don’t! If your employer matches any part of your contributions, make sure you’re at least saving as much as you can to get that “free money.”